Álamalapitáss ünepe
Az ünnep tiszteletére wellness-programon vettünk részt. Mások nevében nem tudok nyilatkozni, én a magam részéről ásványi anyagokban — elsősorban sóban — bővelkedő termálvízben lubickoltam, amelynek jelentős része önnön homlokom felületén tört felszínre. Ezer méter mélyről? Heh, 181 centi magasból, ecsém! Cserébe kaptunk magunktól ajándékba teraszt, amit saját magunkkal rakattunk össze.
Így esett, hogy a tűzijátékról idén lemaradtam, mert túlságosan lekötötte a figyelmemet ez a Reddit thread, ezért azt sem tudtam meg, vajon sikerült-e 2011-re megoldania a kereskedelmi csatornáknak a fővárosi tűzijáték élvezhető közvetítését, amely látszólag azonos fajsúlyú probléma a csobbanásmentesen önthető dobozos tej és az utolsó cseppig kikanalazható tejtermék mítoszával.
A kertévés műsorral ugyanis az a gond, hogy veszettül túldizájnolt. Ülnek legalább ketten egy stúdióban kipucolkodva, beszélnek a semmiről — fellőnek tölteteket és azok a levegőben... felrobbannak meg izé —, tíz kamerával közvetítenek, de egyszerre mutatják az összesnek a képét, a nagytotált összemosva a szuperközelivel, emiatt te ülsz a fotelban és nem tudod eldönteni, hogy a Parlament tényleg a Gellért-hegy tetején van-e vagy csak az uzsgyi kezdett dolgozni, de szerencsére folyamatosan bemondják, hogy mit látnál, ha látnál valamit, meg milyen zenét hallanál, ha valóban hallanád a pofázásuktól.
Hogy akkor milyen is az élvezhető közvetítés? Feltétlenül egyszerű, igényel egy operatőrt és egy darab kamerát. Az operatőr huszadikán kora este felballag a kamerával egy magas épület tetejére, ahonnan belátható a fényjáték helyszíne, beállítja a kamerát, kilenc előtt két perccel bekapcsolja és lemegy a tetőről cigizni, majd a tűzijáték végén visszacammog, kikapcsolja, összepakol, hazamegy. A stúdióban esetleg egy kellően felkészült műsorvezető bemondhatja, hogy kedves nézők, így ért véget az idei tűzijáték, persze szigorúan csak azok kedvéért, akik nem vették észre, hogy a Tomi család ruhafoltokban gazdag élete nem igazán illeszkedik az eddig látottakhoz. Az élvezhető közvetítéshez egyébként éppen a köztévé állhatna a legközelebb, mondjuk nekik a többi adóval szemben komoly előnyük, hogy kilóg a gatyából a fenekük.
Na, ezt is milyen jól megoldottuk máma.
S@ti @
Jókora adag olvasnivaló van ebben a reddit threadben, hasonló ez ahhoz a bizonyos "minél bonyolultabban oldjuk meg az egyszerű dolgokat"-oshoz.
Véletlen, hogy úgy érzem, hogy a tüzijáték-közvetítés módja is szerepelhetne benne?
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Irwin Baskin @
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